I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
