Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
