Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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