i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
