She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
