I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If I die, sorry about rent.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
