if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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