It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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