you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
