She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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