Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
