I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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