R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
