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WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
