Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
