Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
