so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
