My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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