Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
