So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
