i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
