I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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