apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
