Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
