I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
