Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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