but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize