she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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