I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
