The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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