I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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