actually, I'm a sock model
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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