you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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