So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
