i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
