woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
