She announced her abortion via fbk
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
