So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
