I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
