I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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