Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
