i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize