I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
