I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
pray to the hookup gods
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
