so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
