Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
