I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
