So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
