I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
This house was built for laser tag.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
