Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
