Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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