So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
