Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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