After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Dear god my vagina.
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