I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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