My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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