I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
