I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
