I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
