its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize