I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
