i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
