Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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