Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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