a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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