I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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