k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
